Save your child – Help Suicidal Teen

An unsuccessful love affair or an abusive relationship can hamper a teen’s self confidence to such an extent that he/she feel that ending life is the only way out. Here’s how you can understand those symptoms and offer help.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15 – 24 year olds. The strongest risk factor s for attempted suicide in your youth are depression, substance abuse and aggressive or disruptive behaviors. The WHO has estimates that one million people die in the world each year by suicide.

What causes teens to attempt suicide?

Adolescence is a stressful developmental period filled with major changes – body changes, changes in thoughts and feelings. Strong feelings of stress , confusion, fear, and uncertainty, as well as pressure to succeed, and the ability to think about things in new ways influence a teenager’s problem solving and decision making abilities. Some children who take their own lives are anxious, insecure kids who have a desperate desire to be liked, to fit in, to do well. Their expectations are so high the they demand too much of themselves, and so are constantly disappointed when themselves. Even a traumatic event can make them severely depressed. most suicides are caused by combination of events that lead a person to believe that ending life is the only way out. A failed love affair or an abusive relationship can hamper the self esteem and self confidence to such an extent that teen’s take such an impulsive step.

Look closely for these signs:

- You feel his/her personality has changed dramatically
- S/he always seems bored, and has trouble concentrating
- S/he is having trouble getting along with other friends or parents. He has withdrawn from people he used to feel close to.
- S/he has withdrawn from people she/he used to feel close.
- The quality of his/her school work has gone down.
- S/he has failed to live up his/her own or someone else expectations?
- Is acting like a rebel in an explained way.
-  S/he started to write notes and poems about death.
- S/he may be complaining about headache’s, stomach aches that may or may not be real.
-  Unusual neglect of personal appearance.
- Indicate plans to commit suicide.
- Verbalize i want to kill myself or i am going to commit suicide.
- Give verbal hits i wont be a problem much longer or if anything happens to me, i want you to know.
- Gives away favorite possessions.
- Become suddenly cheerful after a period of depression.
- May express bizarre thoughts.
-  Writes one or more suicide notes

Tips for parents:
- Give the message to your child that failure is an important part of life. Most important is recovering and moving forward.
-  Recognize your child’s limitation and understand that your child can not be perfect, Infact, no one is.
- Do not set very stiff and unachievable targets for them.
- When the child feels discouraged point out his past achievements and remind him of his special skills.

Helping your teen


- Get your teen talk to you. Starting a conversation may be daunting, but you can say You seem really down, i want to help you. Is there anything i can do?


- Remember your child does not expect you to have answers. Your child probably just need someone to listen to. By listening and responding in a non-judgmental manner, you are helping in a major way.


-  Take  your teen words seriously. If your child is joking or talking about suicide, giving possessions away or saying goodbye, your only responsibility at this point is to get your child help, and get it fast.


-  Stay calm and composed.
- Do not leave him alone.
- Do not act shocked or judgmental.

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment.

Help Children while you are having an Affair

In almost every broken relationship, it’s the children who become the forgotten victim. This is especially true if adultery is the cause of parents breaking up. Many successful people are having an affair and its having its toll on their children. Study has revealed that its not not celebrities who are having affairs but commoners too are having an affair. This is devastating for kids who suffers the most. How would you make sure that while having an affair you won’t ruin your child’s life.

It’s Tough for Kids

Be it a celebrity or a commoner, allegations of cheating and a relationship gone awry can have a devastating effect on kids. When an affair comes out, it creates huge anxiety for them. They are often left wondering why the very people they looked up to the most, now seem weak and untrustworthy. And if there are whispered telephone conversations interspersed with screaming matches and door slamming, children panic all the more.

How it Affects Kids?

After finding out a parent had been unfaithful, kids become more with drawn, they cry more often and are more aggressive. Other problems include truancy from school, eating disorder and running away from home.

younger kids tend to show their anxiety by clinging, bed wetting, thumb sucking, temper tantrums and night terrors. While older children are more likely to respond by rebelling and causing trouble. In extreme cases, self harming too can result. Often children whose parents were unfaithful and subsequently divorced, display a lack of respect for marriage as adults. Although, boys and girls have different opinion depending on who whether mom or dad is having an affair.

When Its Father

When a father is unfaithful, womanizing is seen as acceptable and can actually become a family tradition, passed on to each generation. In contrast, a girl who is aware of her father’s behavior tends to grow up angry and mistrustful of men and has difficulties maintaining relationships.

When its Mother

If the mother has the affair, children have a very different reaction. Since, mom is seen as the backbone of the family, a child of either sex who finds out she had and affair might loose confidence in the whole idea of marriage and family. They’re also more likely to divorce themselves if the do marry.

Getting Kids through it

The amount of damage an affair does to a child depend entirely on how the situation is managed by the parents. After all, while the spouse who has been betrayed has every right to feel angry with his/her partner, what binds the couple together even in such fragile moments is the love for their children. They might not be able to completely heal the pain their children go through, but with the little effort, they can certainly help them come to terms with the situation.

Parents should Stay Neutral

Never argue  in front of the kids, blame one another or try to get children to take sides. it has a detrimental effect on them. The key is to stay neutral, no matter how angry you are and involve the kids in the discussion. If they are old enough, talk calmly about what’s happened. There is no need to reveal the affair. Jut that Mom and Dad don’t get along with suffice.

Handle children with Love

Difficult though it may seem, it is all the more essential to give your kids extra attention and affection so that they don’t feel rejected.

Decide what you are going to say

Give the kids a definitive version of events of that both of you have agreed to in advance. There is nothing worse than uncertainty or conflicting stories as they make them imagine the most horrible of scenarios. Also, it is better they hear it from you than from neighbors or friends.

Subtle Damage

After the dust has settled, parents often think kids have adjusted well and everything is fine especially if there was no shouting or screaming. but it doesn’t mean that their view of life, love and marriage hasn’t been permanently altered.

Open Communication

Children who grow up happiest and most secure are those whose family dealt with parents, you need to reassure them that they are not to blame, that they are still loved and can continue having a good relationship with both of them.

Take Charge

Parents need to remind themselves who the grown ups are. Keep your lives as normal as possible and always put their happiness first.

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment.

Does Your Child Misbehave Oftenly?

Modern kids these days tend to dis obey their parents and often misbehave especially with their mothers but what is making them rude and why they aren’t listening to their parents now?  Back in the old days, children obeyed their parents and did not fight back even when their parents were wrong. However, today, children have a mind of their own and will shout and yell back at you. Old people argue that the Television and environment is making them rude and disobedient but is it the case? Lets find out more about it

Why children are rude?
Your child might snap at you or yell back at you because he wants to express himself. Somehow, your child has the idea that if he screams and fights with you every time he disagrees with you, then you will finally give up one day and give in. He may have also started snapping at you because he has seen you and your spouse fight with each other and believes that yelling is what every person does when he wants something. You may be surprised that your child yells back, since you feel that you have taught him well. However, even if you have taught your child right from wrong, he feels that by yelling he will get your attention and be heard.

How to stop the rudeness?
There are some things that you as a parent can do to help your child improve his behavior. First of all do not fight with your spouse in front of your child. You are a role model for your child and your child will copy your behavior. Also try to show your child that there are other ways to express a difference of opinion than yelling and being rude. Show him and demonstrate that speaking in a calm and rational manner can do wonders. If you have started yelling at your child and your child replies back, instead of screaming back, go into another room or go for a walk until you have calmed down. This will give both of you a chance to come back to your senses and be able to speak with each other peacefully. You will understand each other better and come to an agreement that pleases both of you. In addition, it will show your child that yelling and snapping is not the right way to solve a disagreement.

Children will be rude and will yell back unless they are shown that they will be heard and acknowledged even if they do not yell. They have opinions and ideas about the world, which they want you to understand and agree with also. Be open-minded and help your child speak to you with respect!!

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment.

Coping Up Aggressive Behavior of Kids?

Aggression and bullying are problematic behaviors in childhood. They cause immediate suffering and can have serious long- term effects. School dropout, unemployment, depression, anxiety, criminality, reduced achievement and competence in adulthood are just some of the problems thought to result from being a bully in childhood.

Generally speaking, aggressive children manifest such characteristics as overt or covert hostility, disobedience, physical and verbal aggressiveness, quarrelsomeness, vengefulness and destructiveness. Children who exhibit aggressive behavior also tend to have a multitude of other problems. Lying, solitary stealing and temper tantrums are also common. Such children tend to be sexually uninhibited and inclined towards sexual aggressiveness. Hyperactivity and inattention are often characteristics of aggressive kids. A minority may engage in fire-setting, vandalism and even homicidal acts.

The problems that afflict aggressive kids affect their school performance and how they perceive themselves in the world. These kids are more likely to do poorly at school as compared to their peers. They also perceive their parents as rejecting them; their teachers as unfair and other kids as mean and bullying. They feel less happy, are more likely to have low self esteem and do not believe they can get help from parents and teachers.

Such kids usually come from a family setting typically characterized by rejection, harsh and inconsistent discipline and general frustration. Frequently the parents are unstable in their marital relationships, emotionally disturbed or even sociopathic and provide the child little in the way of consistent guidance, acceptance or affection. Many a time the child is unwanted and he knows it. This pattern is also found amongst kids whose parents have used bribery in an effort to control their behavior. Aggressive kids tend to come from low socio-economic backgrounds, with higher levels of violence. To summarize, problems in parenting skills and conflict in the home are the main contributing factors in producing aggressiveness in children.

In the 21st century, violence on television is an equally strong contributory factor affecting kids negatively according to psychological research. Three major effects of seeing violence on TV are:

- Children can become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.
- Children may be more fearful of the world around them.
- Children can become more aggressive in their behavior towards others.

As with any other problem behavior, the first step in treatment is prevention. Infants and toddlers tend to become aggressive in some pretty predictable patterns. Rough play, crowded conditions, being tired, hungry or uncomfortable can all provoke aggressive outbursts in a young child. When roughhousing with a youngster, keep a special eye out for the point where the ” play aggression” moves beyond play. When young kids get overexcited, they are likely to forget the rules. Do not let their mouths get close to anyone else’s skin and make sure they do not handle any dangerous objects. Take a pause every few minutes to calm everyone down and get emotions back under control. In a classroom situation, make sure there are lots of toys and plenty of space and time for outside play. Large motor activities are great for encouraging young kids to play together. Reward positive behavior when you see it. Hugs, gentle touches, sharing and co-operation should be noted and rewarded with lots of attention.

The key to discouraging aggressive behavior is to help them empathize with others. We should tell them to “touch gently” and “be nice”; We should take their hand and help them touch the other person very gently. In addition to helping them develop more empathy, always give more attention to the hurt party when dealing with aggression in order to make the aggressors bid for attention fail.

Many acts of aggression are simply acts to get attention. It is best to ignore most misbehaviour; however, this is not wise with aggression. Children are often simply exploring cause and effect- particularly their own power to cause reactions in the world around them. This is a wonderful path of exploration, but needs to be simply redirected down the proper path, not discouraged. Encourage them to hit a play nail with a play hammer, instead of hitting their sister. Encourage them to give a kiss instead of a bite. Show them that they do have the power to get your attention, but by doing good things, not by misbehaving. With this approach, kids will be able to resolve a lot of their problems and aggression will diminish. For very serious problems, counseling may be necessary to deal with the difficult emotions they are facing. The earlier the problems are identified and handled, the sooner they will be resolved.

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment.

Dilemma Of Single Parenting

Single parents are often working parents because someone needs to earn money to buy food, clothing, and a place to live. People work for other reasons, too. A job can let a person use his or her special talents and skills. A job can be important because it helps people in the community. Or a job can simply be exciting or interesting. Although single parenting is quite a lifetime task, there are ways to take on this responsibility.

Parenting is undoubtedly a major responsibility, more so when the mantle falls on a single parent. A single parent has to bear with added responsibilities, tensions and pressures. Either due to separation, divorce or death of a spouse, a single parent is left alone to deal with multiple tasks. But that should not make a single parent’s life very bleak. There are always meaningful ways to overcome the initial apprehensions about single parenting. Let us see what exactly a single parent must face and how.

RESPONSIBILITY

If you are a single parent, you have to take care of all the physical and emotional needs of your child. Right from personal hygiene, dietary habits, school work, punctuality and peer group. You can partially share this responsibility with the child’s grandparents or a trusted friend or even a loyal maidservant. But you are ultimately responsible at the end of the day. Never regret this responsibility. Always take refreshing breaks from the routine and come back fresh with new ideas to groom your child better.

DECISION MAKING

Confide in your trusted relatives while taking important decisions concerning your child’s future, be it education or hostel accommodation or foreign travel. You will be surprised about the fact that there are people offering unbiased advice. If you are on talking terms with your ex-spouse (now separated), consult him or her on major occasions. Let the child also meet the separated parent. But if this adds to the complications, take the decisions on your own.

SUBSTITUTE PARENTING

A single parent has to take the place of the missing parent. You should offer a healthy wholesome human being as a parent. As far as possible, never let your bitterness, bad experiences, annoyance and anger, infect your child’s psyche. Be frank with the child. Make him or her your companion. Never ever poison the child’s mind against the separated spouse. And make the child realize the importance of friendships and lasting human relationships.

YOUR OWN HEALTH

Remember that you are not only a parent, but a human being as well. It is very easy to get carried away and try to do everything for your child yourself, without taking any outside help. But you are bound to get tired and frustrated and you may start taking out these emotions on your child. So it is equally important to look after your own needs in terms of having a healthy social life. If you are working, you must come home feeling healthy and happy. Try to spread your responsibility or else you may spend quantity time rather than quality time with your child. For example, never feel guilty while employing a housemaid or a cooking help.

PEER PRESSURE AND ITS IMPACT ON YOUR CHILD

Imagine your child on Parent’s Day at the school. Prepare yourself and your child for such situations. Talk about these problems. Never let such issues spoil you child’s fun. Give the child an added ability to cope with uncomfortable questions from his friends. Tell the child to never hide the fact that he or she has a single parent. Of course, that does not mean that the child volunteers this information. But let the issue of single parenting not be a shameful secret. Or else, the child will turn hypersensitive and withdrawn. Never let your child develop any personality disorder. You should take the initiative from the initial years. As is said, attitude is everything. Therefore, if you don’t indulge in bouts of self-pity and depression, single parenting will not unsettle your child.

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment.

How to Discipline Your Child

As parents we lay the foundation of our child’s journey to life. Desciplining your children is important to set him/her on right track. If we don’t lay a strong foundation the consequence is very bad for the child’s future.

Disciplining a child is quite tough and parents have to maintain a strict balance between over-indulgence and authoritarianism. However, parents often do not perceive discipline as being such a delicate business. For most parents, discipline operates on a simple principle. If the child does not meet the standards of ‘good’ behavior set by the parents, he must be disciplined. This is one way of looking at it. The child that does not tidy his room or one that throws a tantrum, or one that talks back to his parents-all of them must be disciplined. But these are short-term goals that shift from situation to situation. Disciplining is not only about showing your child who’s the boss. This is a very shortsighted approach. In general, people do not react favorably to criticism and children are no different. If a child is frequently criticized by a person whose opinion he values (in this case the parent), he may lose confidence in his judgment and actions. So parents have to realize that discipline is about more than getting your child to clean up his room or controlling a tantrum.

In the long run, disciplining your child is aimed at teaching him to internalize the standards of behaviour so that he can be the judge of his own behaviour and realize what is acceptable and what is not. Parents have to teach their children what is good as well as what is bad. Therefore, discipline does not merely involve correcting their mistakes, but also showing them the right thing to do. Thus discipline does not have to be just a negative process, but with constructive criticism it can become a positive experience. Parents want to discipline their children in such a way that their children don’t view them as the enemy and understand that disciplining stems from love and concern. Parents also want to raise children who understand the consequences of their actions and take responsibility for them.

Styles of discipline

Parents adopt different styles of discipline. Some adopt a Hitlerian attitude – the authoritarian approach. These parents convey the message that their word is law. This approach does not encourage questions or feel the need for justification. While on the surface, this approach may seem highly effective, the fact is that it encourages blind obedience. Children obey their parents’ orders out of fear and without really understanding why they are forbidden to do certain things or have to do other things.

At the other extreme you have the permissive parents who operate on the premise that a child is a rational, sensible human being and should be treated as such. These parents encourage their children to participate fully in any decisions involving their actions and other things that affect them. These parents do not issue orders, but encourage discussion. While such parents have all good intentions, they do not make very good disciplinarians. The fact remains that children cannot be treated as equals, because they are not. They need the advice and guidance of their parents. Parents who follow this style of discipline actually fail to provide guidance to their children in that they do not set any standards for them. They expect their children to judge their own actions when they are not qualified to make such judgements.

The authoritative parent is one that has probably achieved the balance required on the tightrope of discipline. This parent lays down the rules, but explains the reasons behind these rules. Their children thus understand why they should obey their parents. These parents tell their children that they must do this or that not merely because they say so, but for a specific reason. The children thus establish the connection between their actions and their consequences and build a solid foundation on which they can base their future judgements. Such parenting also makes the children feel that their parents respect their feelings because they bother to explain and justify the rules and regulations that they impose on their children.

Positive discipline

The key to success is for parents to establish their authority over children without putting them on the offensive and getting into a power struggle. Children, just like other people, do not react well to taking orders. The instinct is to rebel and the parents’ automatic reaction is to exert further pressure and bend them to their will. This can degenerate into a losing battle with both sides feeling angry and humiliated. The children must get the message that discipline stems from caring and is for their own good.

Many times children can drive their parents to distraction with their naughtiness and disobedience. On such occasions, parents may see no other option but to give their children a good spanking or a strict dressing down. While this does not cause serious damage if it is a rare occurrence, it has been observed that children whose parents discipline them by hitting, nagging, or shouting at them on a regular basis, have a tendency to be more violent and aggressive than other children who are disciplined through other means.

Another important thing that parents should keep in mind is that when they rebuke their children, they should make them understand that it is a specific behaviour that is under criticism and not the child himself. The child must feel that he is not a bad person, but that he has not behaved correctly in a particular situation.

There is no point laying down rules if parents do not enforce them. This means that children must be punished every time they break the rules laid down by their parents. However, punishment should not be used as a personal vendetta against the child for disappointing or disobeying the parents. It should also not be aimed at making the child feel guilty or bad. Punishment should be aimed at making children understand the consequences of their actions and to take responsibility for their actions.

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment.

Child starts Crawling: Few Safety Tips

Safest period while raising a child is when you have your child in your lap but danger starts when you child starts to crawl. Every safe looking corner can be a possible dangerous place. We either have to keep looking at them while they crawl here and there in house still we can’t be sure that we won’t miss any possible moves which may prove dangerous to our child. Following are few safety tips for your crawling child

- Never leave your child alone on a bed or sofa, for even a minute.


- When bathing your child, fill the tub with enough water to just cover his legs when he is sitting in it. And never, ever leave your child alone when he’s in a tub.


- Keep a rubber mat at the bottom of the tub so it is not so slippery.


- Make sure the crib is secure, and the drop-down sliding door is shut if you ever leave the room with your child in the crib.


- When your child is sleeping in the crib, remove all toys.


- Don’t let your child play with small toys like marbles, which are small enough for him to swallow. There’s a danger he may choke.


- Keep knives and sharp objects out of reach at all times. Lock drawers which contain tools. In fact, lock all accessible drawers and cupboards which can be locked.


- Try and keep houseplants outside in the balcony, or place them at a height, or your child will be nibbling on mud all the time.


- Install a car seat in your car. The car seat should be facing the rear of the car, and should be fitted in the middle of the back seat.


- Attach soft rubber corners and edge guards to the corners of low-lying tables, so your child’s head doesn’t get hurt if he bangs it.


- Keep your room door locked when you are in the room, so your child can wander about where you can keep and eye on him.


- If you have a dog, keep him outside your child’s bedroom, especially if he sheds a lot of hair – or ticks!


- There’s no better substitute to a watchful eye. Till your child turns is almost two, you or someone you trust needs to be watching him all the time.

I would love you to leave me a comment and let me hear your opinion. If you’ve got any thoughts, comments or suggestions for things we could add, leave a comment

Abuse, Hunger and Prostitution. What Else For Slumdogs?

You must have seen Slumdog Millionaire and the life they are living in countries like India (Asia) and Africa. They have shown the hope to become something took the lead actor to Who Wants to be a Millionaire show. Unfortunately not every kids living in the slums can go upto that stage. Though, lots of NGO are operating and trying to help them in any way they can but every street kids need a helping hand. They have lost their parents either in riots, famine or they are brought and sold to those who operate in child prostitution or beggary business. Believe me or not but only Mumbai, India have a beggary business of $2-10 million yearly. This money goes into the pockets of rich and affluent and the plights of kids remains the same.

Some Facts about the Street Kids (Slumdogs)

The 10 million street children of India is 10% of the world’s total and despite efforts by the government and many NGOs, the number does not diminish or their plight grow better. Poverty, abuse and frequently paternal behavior are catalysts that provoke children to run away from their homes and very often seek their fortune in urban areas. 25 new homeless children arrive in Mumbai station each day on the trains from the rest of India.

Where these Kids Ends Up?

1. Abuse : Many of the street children who have run away from home have done so because they were beaten or sexually abused. Tragically, their homelessness can lead to further abuse through exploitative child labour and prostitution. Not only does abuse rob runaway children of their material security, but it also leaves them emotionally scarred. Many of the abused children are traumatized and some refuse to speak for months after being re homed.
2. Health : Half of all children in India are malnourished, but for street children the proportion is much higher. These children are not only underweight, but their growth has often been stunted. Street children live and work amidst trash, animals and open sewers. Not only are they exposed and susceptible to disease, they are also unlikely to be vaccinated or receive medical treatment.
3. Child Labor : Most Indian street children work. In Jaipur, a common job is rag-picking, in which boys and girls as young as 6 years old sift through garbage in order to collect recyclable material. The children usually rise before dawn and carry their heavy load in a large bag over their shoulder. Children that work are not only subject to the strains and hazards of their labor, but are also denied the education or training that could enable them to escape the poverty trap.
4. Gender Discrimination : Gender Discrimination is evident and they are put in prostitution or rag picking etc.
5. Poverty : Poverty dumps a crowd of problems onto a child. Not only do these problems cause suffering, but they also conspire to keep the child poor throughout his/her life. In order to survive, a poor child in India will probably be forced to sacrifice education and training; without skills the child will, as an adult, remain at the bottom of the economic heap.
6. Homelessness : Homeless children have the odds stacked against them. They are exposed to the elements, have an uncertain supply of food, are likely miss out on education and medical treatment, and are at high risk of suffering addiction, abuse and illness.

Life of those childrens haven’t changed at all though, Slumdog Millionaire won many awards even the Oscar.  In order to change their life and give the NGO (Non Profit organization working to help these childrens) our helping hand we need to donate them, even a small amount will be a lifeline for them.

Does Inferiority Complex Bother Your Child?

Kids – the God’s gift to a couple,  cute,  innocent,  devilish and darlings around us making our life beautiful. Their smile and laughs fill our world with happiness. Children are the angles on earth, making us laugh,  smile and forget our sorrows.  But sometimes our small mistakes make them frustrated, they start misbehaving and even sometimes fill our life with sorrows.

Misbehaving of the children can be due to many reasons which is well explained in my article Does your child misbehave often?. Even worse can happen they sometimes develop inferiority complex and try to suicide, the reasons are available Save your child – help suicidal teen. Usually rejection by family and friend circle or exceedingly high expectation are blamed to be root cause of inferiority complex in children.

In general inferiority complex develops if we give more consideration to our negatives than our positives. Children suffering from an inferiority complex isolate themselves from others and become preoccupied with their feelings of inferiority. Family support and motivation plays a vital role in overcoming inferiority complex and building high level of confidence and self esteem.  Here are some tips for  parents to help their child fight inferiority complex :


– Parents must understand that each individual is different. They should not compare their child with anyone.


– Give a pat on your child’s back and say I am proud of you even for the smallest achievement.


– Your child will not like to see you favoring anyone else even if it be a sibling.  So stop being partial.


– Let your child develop a sense of self-worth by serving other people.


– Books are said to be ones best friend,  and children are more fascinated and attracted towards them .Help your child  in readings books,  it will help you strong your bond with the child.


– Know your child”s  like and dislike,  encourage him to do what he like most for ex – if he likes painting,  help him find a painting class,  appreciate his paintings etc. This will increase his self – confidence and faith in you also.


– Motivation is the key to success.  Motivate him often alone and in front of others  (his friends) .


– Spend some time with your child and help him develop a sense of belonging-ness. A dinner together can be  a best option, or you can pick – drop your child to school,  be there( at home )  when he/ she returns from school etc.

Parents need to take great care in ensuring what is being communicated to the child.Inferiority complex can easily be overcome if you know yourself, celebrate yourself and never compare yourself to someone else. Basic fundamentals need like acceptance along  with the need for control and to compete should be adequately fed for the child thus making him  able to bear  the negative experiences without getting inferiority complex which can shatter his/her  personality.

Does inferiority complex bothers your child? or do you know someone who’s children suffers from this problem? Would apperciate  your suggestion and ideas to enhance my spirits and act as an inspiration for me.  Comment below and share your ideas to cure this general problem in our children.

Top 12 Tips To Save Your Child From Unrealistic Expectations?

Parent’s unrealistic expectation from their child may cause him/her to suffer a lot without any mistake from their end. Nowadays many children are facing and dealing with their parents unrealistic expectations. Any kinds of unrealistic expectation of parents from their child which can be academically or in any sphere of life risk your child’s mental, physical and emotional well being. Children under this kind of pressure often begin to refuse to attempt anything unless they are convinced that they will be the best at it. They fear being perceived by their parents as imperfect. I have counseled many academically bright kids whose parents’ unrealistically high academic expectations have caused them to stop trying in school — to the point of academic failure

It’s a life of fear, sadness and low self-worth to know that your best efforts might never be good enough for your parents — that you, in fact, are not good enough for your parents.

Parents who put this kind of unhealthy pressure on their kids need to have discussions with teachers and counselors about the negative consequences of their unrealistic expectations. Their child might be doing well academically, but this does not mean their parenting approach is correct.

Are Your Unrealistic Expectations burdening your child?
Here are top 12 tips on how to save your child from unrealistic expectations.

-  Timetable management i.e. planning, organizing and setting a time table is an activity which requires parents supervision and guidance, Make sure you help your child to develop a timetable for him/her.

- Always motivate your child to develop a right kind of encouraging environment ensuring a effective growth and development for your child. This helps in keeping the kid happy and avoiding stress.

- Assist and facilitate your child to develop a positive self esteem, self -discipline, self-direction, self-confidence and a sense of achievement in his personality.

- Always remember a child needs your emotional support which could not be substituted by giving good schooling and good tuition.

- Falling marks and grades in general discourages the child. Do not burden the child with your expectation and anxiety, just be with him in tough times and help him develop a positive attitude and positive self esteem even in hard times.

- Always remember each child id different and has their own capabilities. So make sure you set your expectations according to his/her capability and make sure these goals are realistic and achievable.

- Family conflicts and academic issues should be separated for overall baby development.

- Use positive statements “well done” “Great job” , “you can do better” to encourage and praise your kid for achievements in his/her life.

- Do not keep nagging with him for his schedule instead sit together and develop a schedule with him.

- Always use humor and be light with your child. Humor has a tendency to relieve from tensions and also enables the baby to develop a good sense of humor which will help him in a long run.

- Try to help your child find a solution. This will make you gain his/ her confidence and thus will enable him/her to share their problems with you without any hesitation.

- Don’t panic yourself and the child during exams. Always remember exams are not end of the world.

Leave me a comment and share tips on how to save children from such unrealistic expectations.

Top 10 Tips For Smoothing Step Parenting Transition

If you are searching for how to smooth your step parenting transition then read on. Being a single parent is not easy as you have to manage lots of things alone related to your child development and requirements. If you fell in love and decide to marry you are in a confused state on how to ease the marriage transition with your child. Situation becomes worse if both the partners are biological parents of kids living with them. Usually, people talk about all possible step-family issues prior to indulging in a relationship which is leading towards marriage to smooth their evolution into becoming a combined family.

In United States due to sudden rise of step families, those willing to take their relationship to the next level (marriage) are opting to talk about every possible thing to make sure there are no conflicts later on. However, things won’t go as easy as it may sound. Conflicts, ignorance or mistakes do tend to happen, so here are 10 tips on how to smooth the transition of marriage with the children.

Top Ten Tips For Smoothing Your Step Parenting Transition
Believe me step parenting won’t gonna be easy as you should prepare your mind to take care of all the requirements of your partner’s child along with your own kids. Here is how you should prepare yourself.

– Read and understand basic child development so you don’t mistake developmentally normal behaviors as inappropriate, uncooperative or as personally against you.

– Be aware that the first couple of years of marriage are messy. Typically, it takes 5 to 7 years for a step-family to become cohesive. Initially, people are trying to understand each other and find their position in the group. It can be difficult.

– Lower your expectations. Step-parents do not have the power or authority to fix their step children or the family. Only a biological parent has that ability.

– Set the discipline & roles clear. Talk with your to-be spouse about what the household rules (Bedmaking, watching TV,  church to follow) and personal rules (borrowing clothes, toys etc.) are going to be.

– Discuss the external household rules, such as how will you handle medical care if the biological parent isn’t there to sign a release. Step parents do not have legal authority, unless it is given to them.

– Talk about money issues. The Step family Association of America has tapes and booklets discussing everything from planning a wedding to doing your own will and estate. Look for information concerning financial issues and figure out as many as you can before you’re married.

– Keep you and your spouse’s bond strong. People have to build their relationship, alone. That way kids can see how a healthy adult relationship works.

– Get creative. Friendships are created through a shared history in the family. You have to create shared memories. Snap pictures of the family doing things together and display the photos out. Find ways to do things with your step children to create a shared memory. Baking, planting, skiing on a trip, whatever creates those special moments should be encouraged.

– Make changes slowly. You don’t want to change things all at once. Make your own traditions, but do it over time.

– Discuss discipline and make sure the biological parent is the one carrying out the discipline of his or her child.

Let me know if the above tips helped you in smoothing your step parenting transition. Although, step parenting is not easy but if done with good spirits there won’t be any problems later. Please leave me a comment and share your experiences with us. Share your expert tips on how to deal with step parenting transition.

How To Mentally Prepare A Child To Accept Parents Second Marriage

One of the reasons why a lot of single parents or to-be-step-parents dread second marriage prospects is if the marriage involves kids from past relationships. We understand your dilemma as parenting is not an easy task. Working to erase doubts from your kid’s mind or reassuring him or her of your partner, a new house, a step brother or sister can be daunting, not to forget it can leave the kid feeling lonely and depressed.

A topic like this requires you to be patient and make the adjustments as easy and smooth for your child. We all know fairy-tales and stories have always portrayed a cruel image of step parents and their behavior which creates a barrier in the way of the child’s mental development. Why not follow a few steps to bridge that mental gap for your child to be as happy for your second marriage as you are.

Talking to your kid is the first and primary step. Be sensitive enough to first ask the kid yourself rather than making an announcement with your partner. Ask him or her whether they are ‘OK’ with your decision and whether they would like to live with a new family and want to meet up with your partner. Make them feel like they are part of the decision process reassuring in the kid of their importance.

Also, considering kids go to school or discuss with their friends, they might go around believing that a step parent may send them to boarding school or not want them around. Introduce your partner, let them interact and get to know each other. Once the child gets talking let him or her ask questions which clears doubts from their mind. If your partner is a single parent or you both would be step parents to each other’s kids, reassure them of any doubts they may have. Avoid favoritism or any rewards for good behavior at the beginning to win them over.

Blending families is part of the process. Help yourself by planning weekend getaways, movie Sundays, vacations together. This will give everyone time to spend together and have fun at same time. At home try to give space at first as sharing does not come that easily to kids be it five-year old or adolescents. If you are a step parent try not to begin by placing a lot of rules in the first place. This may be looked upon as being too much of a dictator but at time same time we are not suggesting you let them do what they want. The idea of the process before and after your marriage is to keep the families happy together and not let your kids feel like they are in it just to be with you.

I would love to hear how you would mentally prepare a child for second marriage. Please leave me a comment and let me know.

Do Parents Expose Their Children To Gender Stereotype

Well this is probably something, the moment we read we can identify with. We may not have grown up thinking it this way, but we all know society as well as parents, your own families teach you the difference between being a boy or a girl or even towards gay individuals today. The question whether do parents expose their children to gender stereotypes can be answered as YES.

To illustrate with an example, go back and think over times when your parents have taught you not to behave in a certain way because you are girl and said it does not matter if a guy did. Does the father talk more soothingly to a daughter if she falls? Does he tell his son to toughen up in the same situation?

The way parents interact with their children or teach them about situations affect gender stereotype. How do you know how to behave when you grow up? Do you judge other people on the stereotype considered? The answer clearly is yes as there are society norms for behavior exhibited that you learn to adhere with from home, your parents.

The same goes for examples like ‘Boys are better at Math than girls’ or gay individuals are highly creative and sought only professions like hair stylist, fashion designers etc. No wonder your home is supposed to be considered your second school.

It’s not only parents who promote this but mainly the trend starts at home. It is soon rooted on by friends in a process of learning in the environment that surrounds you and even is exhibited by teachers. Children at their age are very observant and hence observe the kinds of tasks that mothers or sisters do and what fathers and brothers do.

Automatically behavior and thought complimented by action prove these gender stereotypes and make them even more firmly rooted. Depending also on the kind of society you exist in, you will notice stereotypes are firmly rooted or not. Some countries stay rigid to stereotypes. Gender role playing is often carried over generations and finds hard to be uprooted.

Stereotypes have their pros and cons but most of the time can act as hurdles. Note that in many organization the stereotype can prevent growth with statements like ’Women do not make good managers’ hence, the glass ceiling.
We suggest for parents that you maintain equality over behavior as well as give reasons for any change in behavior. Rather than enforce stereotypes and wrong thinking, affect understanding of difference in situations.

A lot of times children also depict this difference of attitudes negatively, to avoid so, explain. Siblings might feel jealousy or less of a priority. To balance your parenting, converse.

I would love to hear your experiences on this issue. Please leave me a comment and let me know.

Spanking Can Have Detrimental Effect On Your Child’s IQ

Do you think you are probably doing the best thing by spanking your kid to prevent misbehavior? Probably only in short-term. Spanking has been proven by psychologists to mark your child IQ low in comparison to other children in the long run, reason being you mentally scar the child with corporal punishment.

Not only is this seen across the west but all over the globe. Parents think they are reprimanding bad behavior and often use physical punishment to teach the child the right way of doing things. Children who are at this receiving end then associate fear with punishment and also may exhibit weak behavior or decision making ability later on.

The UN and EU both have made constant efforts to make parenting easier and a learning subject with parents. It is seen that southern families especially take to spanking and beating up their kids themselves. The child being small does not understand much and takes the beating badly. It is even reflected that children between 2 to 4 years have a lower IQ difference than children between 5 to 7 years. Parents also use random things such as wooden objects or belts to spank the child.

It is not only spanking but physical abuse churned out which is not only bad for the child but also affects the relationship between the parent and child. A verbal reprimand itself at times itself can be enough to make the child understand of what’s not good behavior. Tough children do yield to spanking and other physical punishments and perform better say may be in studies or behavior, whatever may be the reason for dispute. But most, either grow scared and shy away and also exhibit weak personality.

Money too has been seen to be a problem when it comes to spanking the child. May be the child wants a toy and starts crying or due to the parents being under pressure, they often push their frustration out by beating the child? In other cases, maybe the intelligence level of the child is what frustrates the parents. Parents often find it hard to accept that their child may not understand something easily, remember every child is different.

In any case parents should understand that because a child may not resort to handing back the physical punishment or stop you from dishing it out, it is not the reason you take advantage of it. You don’t want your child to fear you. Spanking is quite embarrassing to the mind of a kid and also, leaves them humiliated and hurt, hence, parents who are concerned about their children and also indulge in spanking should stop such behavior.

Instead make the child understand, reason with him or her and also, be tough when needed but draw the line between pinching the ear and spanking or physically abusing the child. A low IQ is resultant as the child may be not remember subconsciously by maybe fear or the conditional reasoning that happens with past experiences.

I would love to hear your ideas on how to stop spanking a child & say no to corporal punishment. Please leave me a comment and let me know.

How To Bond with A Stepchild

Adopting a step child or interacting with one can be a tough one on anyone who is in love with their partner with a child from their previous relationship. Given the fact that children do not take easily to change and resent your presence, can make things rough in the beginning.

Dealing with a stepchild is no rocket science but trust is vital to sustain a healthy relationship with the kids. You should never let them feel ignored and be friendly to win their confidence, once they start confiding in you that’s a turning point for a good and healthy relationship with a stepchild.

But, how do you get beyond the resistance? Trust us, give it time, and take small steps. Read below a few tips for you to bond with a step child.

Do not force it
You would naturally want everyone to be one happy family. Does the kid want it? Maybe not! You’ll have to work on it. The child will take time opening up, talking to you, may have a severe opinion of you which will lessen in time.

If you try to force intimacy on the child and chatter away, he or she might become withdrawn. Give the child time, you can bribe him or her little do so but only till it does not spoil the relationship or enforces that you only do it because you want his or her favor.

Do not dictate terms
Do not just walk in and start dictating term to the child or try to become the parent. You do not want the child to tell you, you are not his or her parent. A parent child relationship takes work and a little give and take, which is emphasized even more with this being a step parent and step child relationship. Dictatorship will only win you the title of Hitler and severe any further conversations. Show that you care but by explaining and talking over time. You’re relationship will build over the years and not just in a week or month. Have patience.

Listen
The child might want to ask you things, tell you things. A child at his/ her own age needs explanation to behavior to not make wrong interpretations. He/she has school to handle, friends and a number of other things. You are a new ear to the child. Make sure you act the supporting ear and offer it when needed.

Be friends
Before you become a parent, try to become friends. Parents are often their own child’s best friends too, just because you are a ‘step’ parent that does not have to change. With the few points listed above, you can of course become good friends. If you can make a beginning with this, you are building a good foundation for your relationship.

Avoid Anger or physical abuse
This is a crucial point. If you are someone who lacks patience beware of doing any of this. Anger can push a kid away and instill fear which is not what you do not want. Physical abuse is even worse as you are shutting doors on your relationship. Hence, communicate and talk and in case of anger reason out with the child and explain.

I would love to hear your experiences or opinion on how to deal with a stepchild. Please leave me a comment and let me know.